Am I going to turn into Miss Indu?

Was back in this region 2 weeks ago. All excited about being able to come back to Singapore. Not 100% sure about the trip to Bangalore though. But it was an exploratory trip. Well, to me, it was more of a “courtesy” trip that I had to make, so that I can reject the proposal with much more conviction. The stories surrounding LC, Miss Tan did scare me quite a bit. Well, I did survive. In on Sunday night, out on Friday evening, and not a single day more. I was fortunate that I had Joyce with me. Would have been totally out of place if she isn’t around. Well, in her opinion, it is an easy thing to just reject. But it may be useful to do a compromise, like 6 months or some sort. Maybe….that was when that STA thing came into the picture. If it means having the best of both worlds, ie, being able to develop career wise, why not. Well, that is, provided I am on the fast track list, as they say.

I must have a bad actress. Even if I say stuff like, I am willing to compromise and commit 3 months, no one believed me. Or maybe I don’t even believe it myself for that matter.

Anyway, the conversation went on. MB asked if I wanted to come for the recruiting event. That meant that I was due out in bangalore again 2 weeks after my last trip. Fought to do the SQ route again. But that was distressing somehow as well, due to miscommunication etc, I was almost left stranded in the UK, having to take the direct BA flight to Bangalore with MB instead. Worse still the prospect of being upgraded was stripped away just a few days I was due to fly.

That said, I think, in retrospect, it was definitely good to be around for the recruitment. I was initially paranoid of my bad telephone interviewing skills, and was very afraid that we will not be able to find anyone we like. The first morning was filled with candidates that were of poor caliber. Fortunately, the 2nd day of interviewing turned out to be much better. We could even force rank people, whom we think are a firm fit, but not too sure about the group fit. One thing good about pairing with Greg is that he’s very open with his opinion and also care for people. Also, we kept thinking of the chemistry between the whole group when making out selection. Yep! This is the firm’s culture, I guess. More teamwork and lesser individual.

At the end of the 2 day intensive interviewing period, we decided on 4 people. Only thing outstanding is the TL role. We were really hoping to get this guy, but would need to work out some details.

But not too sure why, I got into some moods towards the end of Thursday. Was more and more irritated that someone I know also got promoted, and yet, it feels like it was more of him being at the correct time correct place. I yearned for the promotion for a really long time, and could not get it due to some firm policies. Anyway, the more I complained to MC and OC, the more upset I got. It didn’t help that we had the debriefing after my wincing session. As a result, I started thinking about the group and how I may fit in and said to MB, I feel out of place there. He tried to wind me up by saying that he will send CC here instead. And to his dismay, instead of defending my position, I actually agreed.

So the evening dragged on. We went for dinner, with me being quieter. Continued in Balroop’s bar after dinner till 3am. Went to Fiona’s place to continue talking abt this whole thing. She keeps saying I don’t want to be there and should just forget my position. The most valuable thing I got out of it was that I should keep in mind that sympathy or me may run thin after a while, so I ought to be a little careful. Quite true indeed.

Well, the fact that I had a chat about this with Greg over lunch made me realize that he and MB thought that I wasn’t as comfortable about going to Bangalore. In fact, they thought that my being on the depressing front was a result of this. Well, I guess people just link 1+1, and not all times that equates to 2. Ah well, that is just my fault for showing my face and mood at a wrong time, and saying spiteful things at wrong times for wrong stuff.

Anyway, I better line up my position and put everything in perspective. No point dragging this out. But that said, I won’t be surprised that MB may pull me out of this, and not let me make my stand anymore.

But that said, can I really be Miss indu for 6 months?